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Nonsleepers and Early Morning Thinkers - Unite!
20 most recent entries

Date:2007-02-12 03:39

Pledging is tough, but worth it.

More at 11.

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Date:2007-02-08 02:06

i'm so bored with life!!!!!!!

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Date:2006-07-24 04:46
Subject:I'm going to miss my home..

Not the fixed home..but the area. The feel of the area I've spent my whole life in. I love it here and I don't want to leave. A lot of people do want to leave and move on, explore. I'm not really into that.

I just want things to never change, because things are awesome for me the way they are here.

Le sigh.

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Date:2006-02-25 02:37

grrrr. i hate breaking shabbos. and i cant sleep. evr haapen to you when you sleep for a long time, wake up randomly and never get to sleep again? yeah.

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Date:2006-02-18 01:51

Three words:


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Date:2006-01-21 04:49
Subject:College is no good for me.
Mood:crazy out of it.

College life is crazy. Its horrible for me.
But I wouldn't ever change it for anything in the world.

I love that like..1-2 week period when you can casually flirt with someone by just making side glances and maybe making an extra effort to talk to them or make eyecontact.
After that short period you have to either do something, or just let the glances die away.
But the period is so cute and fun while it lasts.

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Date:2006-01-04 23:50
Subject:thinking night

i haven't been asleep before 5am for the past week at least. i don't know why. it's totally fucking up my mind during the day. i stay up late and i sleep in late. i slept in till 3pm yesterday afternoon.
my friend jess sleeping in till then with me in the basement didn't help. haha, but then again she always sleeps in till 2pm so i don't think it makes that much of a difference to her.

at school, i never slept in past noon or noon thirty. it didn't feel like home enough to me for me to be comfortable with that. i always felt like i had something to do, somewhere to be; as if i couldn't afford wasting the afternoon away in bed like i can back here in montgomery county.

maybe it's the college attitude i have, or who knows.

i watched syriana tonight. it's weird as shit and i couldn't follow it, so i spent the best of 3 hours just zoning out and thinking about my grades and life and how much weight clooney must have had to gain for that movie, and also how much it would hurt to have the chinese torture you.

i got home after some harmless flirting and walked the dog for an hour outside. boy, am i out of shape. it's pathetic, really.

i can't help but wonder why the hell i should care as much as i do about school and my grades and my future. my straight A friend who never seems to work hard at all and definitely is gonna be successful as hell when he gets older (hell, he's successful now, as he works for the gov't at the mere age of 19) tells me the school you go to doesn't really matter. you'll end up in the same place in the end, it'll just be that 5k difference in your salary for the first 5 years in the business world out of school. i don't know if i believe that. but i know i wanna do as well as i can. which is the frustrating part. because i never do as well as i want, i do fine just fine, but never as well as i want to.
what the fuck am i doing.

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Date:2006-01-03 03:42
Subject:shitty shitty day

Its just one of those days when I seem to be down. Or one of those nights when I can't stop crying.
Its weird - I'm not sure why, but it just won't stop. I really don't know if its because its one of my first sober nights in a while (and I therefore have to look back on some of the stupid stuff that I've done/said the past couple days...lol). Or because about 1/2 my friends are going back to school tomorrow and I have to stay home and wait out the rest of my winter break.
I'm obscenly school-sick.
Everything home is so boring and heart-renching. Because all I can think about is high school, and all the people I see I see in my high school frame of mind.
and I hated my high school frame of mind.


Also - I always gain weight when I'm home which always sucks.

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Date:2006-01-02 04:35
Subject:Why did I stay up?

You know why I am up so late? I watched that horrific movie with Gina Girshon, "Prey for Rock and Roll." The music was cliched, even though it was by Stephen Trask, who is a friend of a friend so I always had to hear about how awesome he is, but the whole thing was cliched. There was a drug addiction, a rape and a accidental death, all in the same year. Man, that's jam packed bullshit to boot. And I know that lots of people think that Gina is hot, but the blonde highlights weren't doing it for me.

Thumbs down.

Now I will lie in bed, thinking about the fact that my socks always disappear and I always have to buy new ones. WHY?

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Date:2005-11-16 04:30
Subject:Back from the dead

its about 4:30 in the morning, I'm eating peanut butter and Saltines while drinking a Diet Pepsi and watching downloaded episodes of The West Wing.
Probably not the best combination to go to sleep anytime soon.

Today was the first day that I had to myself in 3 weeks. And after the late nights, drugs, homework and anything else you can think of, I'm burnt and an insomniac. I need to get control of my college experience - so that maybe I can live through these 4 years that are going to be the best of my life.

Tomorrow I have to outline my schedule and try to weasle my way into the classes that I want. Unfortunatly, I am yet to look at the class offerings. This could be a little problematic - as I usually don't wake up until 1:30, and I don't leave my bed until 2:30, and I don't leave my room until 3:30, and I don't start paying attention to whats going on until 8:30.

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Date:2005-08-13 01:38

I'm sitting here playing this new game on msn, shape solitare and reading lj and watching a movie. I'm thinking about watching the last waltz tonight. I have it taped but downstairs we have it on dvd. I may have to go find it in a bit. I'm feeling happy right now, which is weird for me because I haven't felt this way in awhile. I think I'm going to just be for awhile and leave people alone. I'm going to write and play computer games and read and work on whatever i need and just be. Yes, that's what i'm going to do.

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Date:2005-08-13 01:00
Subject:in an effort to prove that this community is neither dead nor sleeping

that has to be the best title for a post I have ever made. props to moi.

So I just came back from Wedding Crashers which was, i admit, much more amusing then I thought it would be (more amusing meaning - it was hilarious, if you havn't seen it already you should asap).
What do you do if you don't know if someone is flirting with you or asking you for sex advice/drug connections? lol. oh the life I lead.

I am leaving for vaction with my BFF's family on monday. And then off to college a week after that. For which - I won't lie, I'm a little scared. And pretty excited I mean, I have my own coffeemaker - my own coffeemaker. How can I not be excited about that?? 

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Date:2005-08-04 01:16
Subject:Psycho Girls are the Worst

Recently I was in somewhat of a relationship you could say. For just about a week. Things were going great and we seemed to both really like each other.

We spent a night together at a hotel room. Magic ensued. haha.

The night after she hooked up with another kid, and then defended her stance on how we "weren't going out so it is okay". I say, FUCK HER. She's not worth it.

But now she won't stop IM'ing and calling me to try and get me to accept her appology when she still says that she can't feel bad about what happened between her and this new guy because it is right. I won't accept the appology, and she won't leave me alone.

I've erased her from my life otherwise. Pictures, emails, text messages. Life was good, but I'm glad I'm not focusing on this too much (except now because it resurfaced in my conscious thought).

Plus this community is long overdue for an update. And as the creator of said community, I have done a poor job ensuring that it does stay active. Can you all forgive me? Is anyone reading this? Is my sentence structure bad at 1:21 AM? WHERE ARE THE ANSWERS TO ALL MY QUESTIONS!!??

In conclusion, (girl's name witheld out of remaining respect for her) is psychopathic.

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Date:2005-05-27 00:25

anyone awake out there?

aim - ifxwinterxends
yahoo - stacastradomus
msn - starsxandxscars@hotmail.com

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Date:2005-05-26 02:34
Subject:getting sleepy

I've been sitting here watching the vips, strolling through lj and playing sims 2 university and now i am tired. I think I'm going to go lay down now. I wish I could look like Liz Taylor in this movie. Her hair is beautiful.
I'm going to join my doggie in bed now.

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Date:2005-04-25 02:39
Subject:Mr. Waters and His Ubiquitous Gift

... Isn't anybody out there? ...

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Date:2005-04-24 02:52
Mood:angry depression

sometimes you never really get over something.

ya know?


i feel better. yeah..

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Date:2005-04-20 02:53
Subject:Goodnight moon.

G'night all. I'm off to pretend to sleep. Remember these two things: Some girls' mothers are bigger than some other girls' mothers... and the purpose of the dressing is to soften the crouton for the fork. Best wishes.


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Date:2005-04-20 01:40
Subject:But will I be revived?

I've noticed a troubling trend in time zones... sometimes, when it's early morning for me, it isn't for anyone else! Fucking damn! So there truly isn't anyone to talk to. Hell and damn. I'll be around for a damn while. T S Eliot.


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Date:2005-04-19 02:11
Subject:"Pardon me, it is I who am inane..."

This little baby goes out to all the girls in the world, and all the nothing eyes of all the girls in the world. It's two a.m.... do you know where the hell you are? You are here. Enjoy yourself.

While not as heedlessly kinetic as the conference had arranged,
They were passive in their solitude
and utterly bereft of anything like ambition,
thus they began to wane,

Though they loitered ‘round ‘till midday, when they left.
Noon’s missive’s troubled inching toward the lighter
Began with the band’s end in their apartments
Destroying what still remained
of the Fifties’ fighter
Whose last fight had sparse turnout
at the fence.
Evening saw their halos
over San Diego’s travesty,
Still filmed
by the union cameramen who killed them.

Those Lilliputian shrivels of our majesty
Melted even in the stares of those who’d billed them.

This is a tangible reminder of what I am like when I am abandoned, WITHOUT VODKA, for days on end. Sleep well and best wishes. I'm going to go memorize T. S. Eliot and wonder what went wrong when I wake up, and wonder of wonders, am still not him. Live lightly whilst I sleep.


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